Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize