LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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