My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
