i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
