I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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