i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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