apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
