You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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