i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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