if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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