sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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