i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
