Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
