im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize