dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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