In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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