I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she told me i tasted like america
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
