i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
