Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
