Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
