we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
