i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize