so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
