In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Couch. On fire.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
