Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
