the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
