i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
