I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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