I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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