TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize