I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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