The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
