Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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