I wish I could teleport
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
