GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
