I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I need a beard to bite.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
