i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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