you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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