Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize