It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
