turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
