He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize