i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Send help, water and tortillas.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
