I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize