I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
