C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
