you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
