This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
