Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
