we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize