i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize