Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
