i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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