I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
