your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
dude. I can hear the air.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
