Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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