ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
