she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
