So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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