He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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