we made out on top of his cat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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