I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize