Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
