considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
