I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
