is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
