On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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