I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
